Two days!!!

Word to the wise

If you are planning on being best friends with your ex-boyfriend, and you are still in love with him...get ready for mass amounts of tears and confusion.
Here's to hoping it will all  be worth it in the end.

Day 16: I am grateful that the guy at the drive through window at Cafe Rio recognizes me and other Kendall now.

Day 17: I am grateful for Cammie and the fact that I helped protect her from her stalker.

Day 18: I am grateful for walks outside.

Day 19: I am grateful that I slept through nutrition.

Day 20: I am grateful that I am done with class for the week.

Day 21: I am grateful that Ryan is so good with a crying me.

Day 22: I am grateful for FOOD, and my dad's side of the family.

Day 23: I am grateful for family game nights with my mom's family.

Day 24: I am grateful for the Bond family letting me join them for a movie and another Thanksgiving.

Day 25: I am grateful (mostly) to be back in my own apartment.

Day 26: I am grateful that my stupid quilt is almost mostly done.

Day 10: I am grateful that I was able to clean our apartment and that it was able to stay clean for a whole day.

Day 11: I am grateful for this gospel and going to church and for Sunday dinner with my married couple "friends".

Day 12: I am grateful for a new hobby that keeps my time occupied at last.

Day 13: I am grateful for a friend who will kidnap me after my class and take me shooting and not get mad when her gun breaks while I am using it. *

Day 14: I am grateful for phone calls with two of my best friends.

Day 15: I am grateful for my friends from Spanish for making Spanish not so terrible and for the fact that we are all taking it together next semester.

Day 9: I am grateful for a roommate who knows the words to EVITA as well as I do, and is able to sing every word with me, without the help of the music.

I am also grateful for other Kendall and the fact that she is going to Argentina on her mission!

Day 7: I am grateful for difficult situations.

A weeks worth of gratitude

Day 1: I am grateful for Halloween trip to St. George and 'Korean' kids who say I am hysterical (hilarious).

Day 2: I am grateful for friendships that can withstand ANYTHING.

Day 3: I am grateful for the knowledge that everything happens for a reason, even though I may not understand that reason right away.

Day 4: I am grateful for lazy days and good conversations.

Day 5: I am grateful for those people who make me feel like a part of their family even though I am not.

Day 6: I am grateful for comforting conversations with a priesthood holder.

Day 7: I am grateful for roommates who let me borrow their clothes so that I can look good for a potentially confusing situation.

Today my nutrition teacher told us that a lack of Vitamin A in our diet will cause infertility. Men won't be able to bear children...

I think there is something wrong with that conclusion.

Priesthood Power

I am so grateful that I have a boyfriend who, when I am crying and feeling sorry for myself and wondering what I am going to do with my life, will not tell me that he understands exactly how I feel and that he knows that everything will be perfectly fine. I am glad that instead of that he tells me that I need a priesthood blessing and that he will call his brother to give me one. I am grateful that he could see that I didn't need to be told nothing was wrong and everything would work out, but instead that I just needed comfort from the Lord, given through a worthy priesthood holder.
He is going to make a great missionary when May rolls around.

weekend

driving
talking
baptisms
chinese food
movies
staying up way too late
sleeping
napping
snuggling
conference
sneaking into a football game
one sided sunburn
card games
kissing
laughing
drawing
"that's what she said"
tickling
rubber ducky pajamas
neon colored socks
body spray
jackets
being happy

You know he must REALLY like you when he will brush his teeth after eating a hot dog with ketchup on it, just because he knows how you can't stand the smell!

my choice

These last few week, but especially these last few days, 'happy' has not been the word to describe me. And then last night, I realized that I am doing this to myself. I am choosing to make myself miserable. So I made the decision then and there, to be happy. I made the decision to not let the little things bother me. I made the decision to look on the bright side, even when I am having a hard time seeing it. I made the decision to let the people around me help me. I made the decision to be happy.
Sounds simple...right?

After a week of drama and crying and being unhappy and wondering what was coming next, things have finally resolved themselves, and I have never been more grateful! Things will still take some time to be completely perfect again, but they will get there, and hopefully be better than before!

I am just thankful that my roommates have been having as crappy of a week as I have, and that we can complain to each other, and cry for each others problems. Heavenly Father knew what he was doing putting me with these people.

College is hard and so is keeping up relationships with people who are hours away. But if those friendships and loves are meant to be, things will always work out, no matter how much crap you have to go through in order to have those things work. That was the number one lesson learned in Eccles C304 this week, but I think it was a lesson that we all needed to learn.

happiness tip #3

Find your hidden talents. Mine is changing the lyrics to 'that's what makes you beautiful' to fit any situation I may find myself in.

happiness tip #2

When playing M.A.S.H. make sure to include a section for love life, it never fails to get a laugh.

happiness tip #1

When you are wearing a superhero shirt, nothing can get you down, and no one can touch you.

just another manic monday

When I woke up this morning, I thought it would be just another Monday. I assumed I would wake up, groggier than normal, but still able to function. I assumed that I would go to my two classes and learn something so that I could become just a little bit smarter. I assumed that I would laugh with my roommates over stupid things, because that is just what we do. I assumed that I would text him all day and that everything would be great. I assumed that I would be experiencing just another Monday.

Instead I woke up this morning, groggier than usual, and not quite able to function. I went to my two classes but learned next to nothing, because I just wasn't in the mood to become smarter. I didn't laugh with my roommates because I have shut myself in my room the entire day, because I am not fit for human interaction. I watched Boy Meets World all day with my blanket covering both me and my laptop so that if someone walked into my room, I wouldn't have to see them and therefore talk to them. I did text him, but it didn't make everything great. When I woke up this morning, I didn't think I would be about to go a week or so without talking to my best friend.

 But it is okay. I have faith that things are happening for a reason, and that if I can push through these days when I don't want to move or get out of bed for whatever reason it may be, I will be happy in the end. I know that everyone has days like this and that I am not the only one. So I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself, because really, I have it pretty dang good. I am going to try to not let things bother me, and to learn to make the most out of every day I am given, because whether or not I choose to see it, there is something good in every day I live.

from the mouth of a registered dietitian

"Diarrhea is icky."



I am so glad I am paying for a college education.

Living with girls

Sometimes when you live in an apartment full of girls, you get frustrated because other girls aren't as 'whatever' about their appearance as you are. Sometimes you say you are going to leave between 5:30 and 5:40 for the football game and your roommate doesn't get in shower until 5:30 and then doesn't get out until 6:00. Sometimes the football game starts at 6:00 and you are still sitting at your computer writing a worthless blog post because your roommate still isn't done doing her hair, let alone getting started on her make up. Sometimes you want to start a revolution of girls who wear T-shirts and pony tails and minimal make up every day, because that means no being late to things. Sometimes it sucks living with girls.

On the upside...

Sometimes when you live in an apartment full of girls you stay up til 2:00 in the morning laughing about nothing, and freaking out when a boy has to sleep in your apartment because his roommate locked him out of his room.Sometimes you and your roommates sing Les Mis in hushed voices while you are making breakfast because there is a boy on the couch who you don't want to wake up. Sometimes you spend all day cleaning your apartment for the first time in three weeks, and then you feel so good about yourself and where you live.  Sometimes it isn't too terrible living with girls.

I swear I set my alarm...

Today I only had one class to go to. Nutrition; starting at 8:00 am ending at 8:50 am. And then my day was mine to do with what I wanted. Sounds easy right?
Nope. Somehow I managed to sleep through my alarm, and I didn't wake up 'til 9:45. I failed at the one thing I had to do today.
I am a pathetic excuse for a student!

Main Street

Today I found a cute little coffee shop that is attached to a used bookstore. It is safe to say that I really love it. I just want to sit in there always and drink coffee, even though I don't drink coffee. Although I do enjoy the occasional frappe...but I pretend that those don't have coffee in them. College is making me turn heathen. But if it is tasting that good, I almost don't care.

The Lord Knows Me

I got my patriarchal blessing today, and it was honestly one of the most amazing experiences of my life! There were no jaw-dropping revelations, but everything in it was something that I needed to hear. It reaffirmed that what I am doing in my life is the right path for me, which is something that I really needed to know. I am so grateful for this gospel, and for the knowledge that my Heavenly Father knows me personally and love me, and that I am special to Him.

Overheated

You know those cars? The ones who go 10 to 20 mph slower than the recommended speed limit? That every single car passes, and even the occasional semi-truck can't even stand to be behind?
Today that was me. I hated myself. But when your car is going to heat unless you keep the speed between 55 and 70 miles per hour, what are you gonna do?

169

Yesterday he drove 169 miles to see me. It was wonderful.
I spend the majority of my time watching Boy Meets World on youtube.
That is all I want to do right now, but the internet connection here sucks.
That is one thing I don't miss about our apartment in PG...the crappy internet service.
I am back in Pleasant Grove for the weekend.
Not sure how i feel about it.
It is good to be back, but my family isn't even here.
They don't come home from camping until tomorrow.
Tomorrow I am getting my patriarchal blessing.
It is about time.
I have procrastinated it for so long.
But no longer.
I need guidance in my life.
Sometimes I feel like I am walking with a blind fold on.
Hopefully tomorrow will help.
I miss people.
Mostly my friends.
I don't talk to them much any more.
Mainly I just talk to Cam and Ryan.
Because they are the only ones who consistently text me back.
That's okay though, everyone is busy with school.
Not me.
I basically have no school.
College  is easier than high school.
I don't do homework.
Mostly because I don't have any.
So instead I spend my time watching Boy Meets World.
I wish I had a time turner.
So it could be yesterday again.

One Day More

Tomorrow

Tomorrow

I love you

Tomorrow

You're only a day

AWAY!

"Who needs porn when you have pictures of Matt Bomer!?" -Barbara Ryther

So true Barbara, so true.

We're called best friends for a reason

Cam: ...and now I just look like a loser who wears her sunglasses inside.

Me: I don't see the problem. Haven't you always been a loser?

Cam: You are my best friend.

Me: I know. You are probably mine too.

Cam: We are the best.

What are you, an apartment full of hobbits?

Sometimes, when you live in an apartment with six girls who are all under 5'4", it is hard to reach things.

The Mother Verb

Once my Spanish professor asked the class what 'el verbo infinitivo' meant. So I raised my hand and say "The infinitive form of the verb.", real smart-like. He tells me that is the literal translation, but that he want to know what it means. So I say, "It's the mother verb". He stares at me for a few seconds like I am some alien just come aboard this planet, then laughs awkwardly. Now he knows me as the 'mother verb' girl... Oh joy.

Grade Thirteen

Good news kids, college is exactly like high school. Except for the whole, being out on your own, only having two classes a day, and having a six hour break in between those classes. But other than that, totally the same.

College...

College is lonely.
But on the plus side, the theme for our apartment floor is How I Met Your Mother. So maybe some good will come of this whole experience.

All roads lead to friends

Sometimes, as I am going throughout my day, everything reminds me of friends...

• In world history we sometimes talk about Yemen. I used to think it was a fake country that chandler made up to avoid Janice... sometimes I still feel like it should be a fake country. 
• Also in world history we talk about the Great White Fleet and Colonel Matthew Perry. Obviously when I hear that name I think of Chandler.
• When I use a popular search engine, once again, all I can think of is Chandler Bing.
• Every time I open my freezer, I remember the time I was reading Little Women, and I put the book in my freezer when Beth was dying. Because that is what Joey had to do.
• Cammie used to be Princess Consuela Banana Hammock in my phone. Now that she isn't anymore, I get a little bit sad every time I text her. I should probably change it back.

So yeah. All this in one day, and I haven't even watched the show in who knows how many months. I miss it.

Why will tomorrow be the best day ever?
Because I don't have to work.
After this week, I never want to step foot in Macey's again.
Too bad I have about 3 months until I can quit.
That day will actually be the best day ever.

One Day

B
-Sarah Kay

If I should have a daughter,
Instead of Mom, she's going to call me Point B.
Because that way she knows that no matter what happens,
at least she can always find her way to me.

And I'm going to paint the solar systems on the backs of her hands
so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say,
"Oh, I know that like the back of my hand."

And she's going to learn that this life will hit you,
hard,
in the face;

wait for you to get back up,
just so it can kick you in the stomach,
but getting the wind knocked out of you
is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the
taste of air.

There is hurt,
here,
that can not be fixed by band-aids or poetry,
so the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't
coming,
I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape
all by herself.

Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers,
your hands will always be too small to catch
all the pain you want to heal.
Believe me, I've tried.

"And Baby", I'll tell her,
"don't keep your nose up in the air like that.
I know that trick, I've done it a million times.
You're just smelling for smoke,
so you can follow the trail back to a burning house
so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire,
to see if you can save him.

Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place
to see if you can change him."

But I know she will anyway,
so, instead, I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and
rain boots nearby,
because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix.

Okay, there are a few heartbreaks chocolate cant fix,
but that's what the rain boots are for.
Because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to look at the world
through the underside of a class-bottom boat.
to look through a microscope
at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind.

because that's the way my mom taught me.
That there'll be days like this,
There'll be days like this, my mama said,
when you open you hands to catch
and wind up with only blisters and bruises.

When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly
and the very people you want to save
are the ones standing on your cape.

When your boots will fill with rain
and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment
and those are the very days you have all the more reason to
say "thank you."
Because there is nothing more beautiful
than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline
no matter how many times it's sent away.

You will put the wind in win some.
Lose some.
You will put the "star" in starting over
and over.

And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute
be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale of one to over-trusting
I am pretty damn naive.
But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar;
it can crumble so easily
but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out
and taste it.

"Baby," I'll tell her,
"Remember your mama is a worrier
and your papa is a warrior
and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes
who never stops asking for more.

Remember that good things come in threes
and so do bad things.
And always apologize when you've done something wrong,
but don't you ever apologize fro the way your eyes refuse to
stop shining.
Your voice is small but don't ever stop singing.

And when they finally hand you heartache,
when they slip war and hatred under your door,
and offer you handouts on street corners
of cynicism and defeat,
you tell them that they really outta meet
your mother."


[One day, I hope to be this kind of person.]

Please

 I need to stop buying everything that strikes my fancy. I am done.
 If you care about me at all, please don't let me spend anymore money until next Friday.

You know you are at singles ward...

You know you are at singles ward when...

• They announce next week's activity as a "munch and mingle".
• The seating arrangement almost perfectly fits a "boy, girl, boy, girl" pattern.
• There is more back scratching/rubbing going on than you can stand to look at.
• There are two mission farewells in one day.
• More than half the congregation is in the ward choir.
• The brothers passing the sacrament are above five feet tall, and over the age of 12.
• 95% of the sisters are wearing high heels.
• The sacrament actually passes without on single baby/toddler cry.
• The words "marriage" and "engagement" are brought up several times in the meeting.

I am kind of looking forward to being in one myself.

15 hours

Yesterday I came home from school at 10:30.
Then I took a 2 or 3 hour nap.
Then did some stuff.
Then I went to bed... at 7 o'clock.
Then I slept for 12 hours straight.
I think I am a little baby again.

Because I have nothing better to write about.

Rules:
1: you must post the rules.
2: post 12 fun facts about yourself in the blog post.
3: answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create 12 new questions for the people you tagged.
4: tag 12 people and link them on your post.
5: let them know you've tagged them


12 facts:
1. My favorite type of music are musicals, I don't really know why, but they are usually all I want to listen to.
2. I was born in Hawaii.
3. I secretly love math.
4. Lately I have had an obsession with saying I "secretly" want to do something, or that I "secretly" love something. This stems from watching the Miss America Pageant, something that I secretly love to watch.
5. I hardly ever run out of things to say. I really just constantly talk, my friends just pretend to listen to me. Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice.
6. I am going to be a elementary school teacher.
7. I think I am a little bit OCD. But not about normal things that bug people, about weird, obscure things that I don't even realize bother me, until I am faced with them.
8. I wish I could speak spanish. I took two years of the language, but I still don't know more than a few basic words.
9. Lately I have been sluffing more school than I have been going to. But it is okay, because my mom excuses me.
10.I am terribly bad at recognizing what movies quotes come from.
11. I have read the Harry Potter series at least 7 or 8 times each, and it is about time for another reading.
12. For the most part, I don't like people.


My answers to Cammie's questions:
1.If you could have a magical object from Harry Potter, besides a wand, what would it be?: Ronald Weasly, I love him, and he is a magical object, so obviously I would pick him.
2. What is your favorite ice cream topping?: I don't really like toppings on my ice cream, but right now, my favorite type of ice cream is cookies and cream, so I would probably go with oreos.
3. The bachelor, or bachelorette?: Definitely the bachelor, I find the bachelorette so slutty.
4.If you played on a quidditch team, what position would you be?: A beater probably. I want to aim bludgers at people I dislike. I think it would be cathartic.
5. Do you have any embarrassing obsessions?:  I don't think so. I mean, I am sure I do, but none that jump off the top of my head. I am totally obsessed with my grades, and I started to cry when I almost got an A-, so I guess that is kind of embarrassing.
6. What is your favorite meal: breakfast, lunch or dinner?: Breakfast. I just like breakfast food, plus I can actually cook those foods, so that is a plus.
7. What is it about your favorite pair of shoes?: Well lately my favorite shoes have been my hooker heels. Partly because I like saying hooker heels, but mostly because I like feeling tall. And plus they make my legs look good.
8. How often do you check the stats on your blog?: Honestly, way more than I should. Probably once every day or so. I like to see if there are any new countries that pop up.
9. What color/pattern is your bed spread?: Black and white, and sort of floralish, but not really. It is complicated to describe.
10. Who is your favorite friends character?: Probably Chandler, he is kind of nerdy and awkward, so I like him.
11. A few of your favorite smells.: If i were to take a whiff of amortencia, I would smell grass, the sidewalk after a rainstorm, new books, and the laundry detergent aisle.
12. What is the funniest embarrassing story you have ever heard?: I have a friend, lets call her Alexa H., no no no, A. Hodson. Well she pees her pants a lot, and one time she peed her pants a midst a group of all boys, on a long board. That one is pretty funny to me, plus, it is the only one I can really think of at the moment.


My questions:
1. What is your guilty pleasure show?
2. If you could pick any time period to live in, what would it be and why?
3. Describe your first major crush.
4. What is your favorite flavor of poptart?
5. What is your most irrational fear?
6. If you could only eat one food (or type of food) for the rest of your life, what would you pick.
7. Snog, date or dump: Voldemort, Wormtail and Lucius Malfoy?
8. What is your biggest pet peeve?
9. If you could be on any game show, past or present, which one would you choose?
10. What was your favorite book growing up.
11. What is something that you secretly want to do, or like to do?
12. What is your least favorite texture?


And there you have it.

I'm a bit of a rebel

Today at work I got written up. Here is why...
(Aaron walks by carrying the bag of trash from photo)
Cami: Wow, I didn't know photo had so much trash.
Me: Of course they do, they hired Aaron.
Aaron: Watch it, I know where the write up forms are now.
Me: Well, too bad you are not supervising right now, so you could fill one out.
Aaron: Just watch me.
...
Aaron (over the intercom): Can I please get Kendall to the Service Desk?
(I walk over and he hands me a slip, this is what it said)

Please describe the nature of the violation: Being extremely disrespectful to superiors. Being a productivity vampire. Murder.
 Please summarize the discussion you had with the team member to correct the action: I told her to treat others with kindness and respect, explained ways she can stay busy and stressed the importance of not killing people.
...
Sometimes, I really love my job.

A glimpse

I ditched school today to go to school. Confused? Let me rephrase... I ditched high school today to go to elementary school. It was probably the best day I have had in a long time.
Little kids are sassy, but they are pretty cool.
I could probably be happy teaching them for the rest of my life.

Next stop, will be Europe

July 13-22... Cruise Itinerary:
Day	Ports of Call	Arrival	Departure
1 Venice, Italy --- 5:00 p.m. 2 Dubrovnik, Croatia 12:00 p.m. 8:00 p.m. 3 Corfu, Greece 10:00 a.m. 8:00 p.m. 4 At Sea --- --- 5 Naples, Italy 7:00 a.m. 7:00 p.m. 6 Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy 7:00 a.m. 7:00 p.m. 7 La Spezia, Italy 7:00 a.m. 7:00 p.m. 8 Marseille (Provence), France 9:00 a.m. 7:00 p.m. 9 At Sea --- --- 10 Palma De Mallorca, Balearic Islands 6:00 a.m. ---
Only 16 more 'A's to go.

I'm awkward but it's fine

Sometimes I am in need of pads, so Haley and I go to Macey's so that I can purchase some.
I go to check out and buy my item, and I set it down on the checkstand. There is a teenage boy and his father in front of me. The boy gives me a look, takes a glance at what I am buying, and then quickly looks away, as if he feels dirty for having seen a girl buying pads. Then me and Haley look at each other and start laughing pretty hard.
When are boys going to understand that periods are a natural part of life, and that buying pads is too?

Here's to a miracle

Since I was 12 year old, and a little seventh grader, my dream was to graduate with a 4.0. I always assumed that I would be able to accomplish it because I am fairly smart, and have always had straight A's in the past.

Now it is the night before the end of my last second term in high school and my grades are as follows.

A
B+
A
NC (P)
NC (A)
A-
B

And the best part is is that I missed school today because I am sick. Which means that tomorrow I have to fix all my grades, which means taking three or four tests I believe, all while still probably feeling like crap. Think I can do it?  I do. Stranger things have happened right?

So here is to miracles, and dreams come true, because I really don't need to see all my hopes and plans for my high school life go down the toilet right now. If I can do this, I will try to stop being so lazy, and try to suppress this disease I have that stems from being a senior.

Graduation, would you mind coming quickly, I am ready to move on from everything that high school has been lately.

It's 10:00 and...

It's 10:00 and

• I just got off work.
• I have to read 200 pages of 1984.
• I have to come up with my ten favorite quotes from a book I haven't read yet (see above).
• I have to write a paper about the themes in a book I have never read.
• I am on facebook and blogger instead of doing useful stuff.
• I am cheating on my online classes, don't worry, I will go back and really do the work later, just not right now.
• I am about to fall asleep, even though I am drinking the Dew to try to stay awake.
• I am trying to remember the path of blood through the body, but mostly the heart, and I am glad that I know it now because me and a kid at work quiz each other on it while we are helping customers.
• I am trying not to fall asleep.
• I am contemplating taking a shower to wake me up. But that means I have to do something with my hair, and I would really rather not.
• I am having a really hard time remembering how to spell simple words.                                           

It's 10:00 and I am procrastinating.
What else is new?